Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
