Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
