she was so not down for the gang bang
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
