Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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