this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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