i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Im just a social blackout drinker.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
