I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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