can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
