I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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