I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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