I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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