Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
