Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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