Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize