another moral hangover. fuck.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
