I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
