Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
