i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize