He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
