Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Randomize
