I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize