Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Hello my rib-scented angel!
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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