What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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