Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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