Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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