I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
