Define "chronic" masturbator.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
this will be a night to untag.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
