We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I can text with my tongue
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
