Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you had me at cake vodka
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
