is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
