did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
