You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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