i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize