I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
