What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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