Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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