i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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