respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
