Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
