She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
