god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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