I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
