I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
