I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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