I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
