so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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