no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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