I have demons in me.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
