Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
