Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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