Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she told me i tasted like america
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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