don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
