on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
