yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
