Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
