Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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