You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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