When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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