IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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