captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize