did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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