3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
