just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
