i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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