If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize