At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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