are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
