Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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