Farmville is her only friend.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize