2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
