let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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